Charlie On The Moon

Comments (3)

• 
  jmikulski says:
  Meaning - 2
  Development - 3
  Illustrations - 4
  Mechanics - 1
  
  Grade: 80
  Fantastic use of illustrations!
  There are some problems with run on or fragment sentences on pages 1,3, and 4. ALso, I can't tell if the bunny really woke up on page 6 or is still dreaming. That makes the plot confusing. Finally, the ending doesn't clearly answer the question, "Is it better not to know?" Can you fix these things?

  Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  jmikulski says:
  You fixed page 1, but 3 and 4 are still incorrect. Page 6 looks good. The ending is a bit more clear, but still could use some work.
  
  New Grade: 88

  Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  monk51295 says:
  Seemed like the picture were made just for your story. Nice job.

  Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)

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