Glenn's City Adventure

Author:

AHBEJE

Illustrator:

Pascal Campion

Age Group:

4-6 years

jmikulski says:
Meaning - 3
Development - 3
Illustrations - 2
Mechanics - 3

Grade - 84
After Glenn decides to go to the city, a lot of really strange things start happening. This really affects the flow of the story, and that hurt the grade. At some points, it seems like the picture was chosen at random and then "worked" into the story.
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
mikefisher821 says:
This reminded me of the Wizard of Oz. "There's no place like home," huh? I enjoyed your story! - Mike Fisher
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
kaye says:
Good work!
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
rlobaugh says:
I was somewhat confused by the way Glenn seemed to encounter strange things. I didn't get the feeling that he missed home because he missed the other monkeys, so much as he missed home because the "world" he encountered was a bizarre place! If anything, Glenn has a cool treehouse...I'd never have left :)
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
jmikulski says:
Your story is easier to follow now, and the ending makes it clear whether or not Glenn was happy about knowing city life. There's still a few grammar issues, and some of the pictures are kind of forced, but overall, this is a much better version of your story!

New grade: 93
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)
monk51295 says:
Nice perspective - that you see the world and it makes you happy that you live where you do. I especially like that his choice for living at home was because of his family and friends.
Posted 8 months ago (Permalink)