The Fox and The Pig
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About this Storybird:
Published: Nov. 24, 2009
Updated: Nov. 25, 2009
Total Pages: 9
Viewed: 33 times
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Meaning - 2
Development - 4
Illustrations - 4
Mechanics - 4
Grade: 90
GReat idea for a story! Just a few problems to fix: There is a punctuation problem on page 1. Also, check page 5 and make sure it is written in past tense. Page 8's picture is a little wierd - is there a better picture to use on that page? Finally, the idea of "is it better not to know" is not very clear. Can you add something to the last page to make it more evident?
nice imagination
I enjoyed this story, very empathetic! -Mike Fisher
Hmmmm - why is it better not to know, was he still hungry, but too guilty to eat the pigs?
I can see where the story is headed and I like it, but you need to bring it together for the outside reader who doesn't know what your task was. I DO like that I'm left wondering what the fox decided to do with the pig...did he cave in and set her free, or did hunger win out as he feasted on pork???
I see you tried to add more to page 9 to address the question, "Is it better not to know," but it is so poorly done, I cannot give you more points. Fix the spelling/grammar errors, and then resubmit.
I like your plot. The pig letting the fox see how much they were alike. I wish more people could realize what the fox did.
Maybe we wouldn't try to devour each other so much.