Comments (8)

• 
  jmikulski says:
  Meaning - 2
  Development - 4
  Illustrations - 4
  Mechanics - 4
  
  Grade: 90
  GReat idea for a story! Just a few problems to fix: There is a punctuation problem on page 1. Also, check page 5 and make sure it is written in past tense. Page 8's picture is a little wierd - is there a better picture to use on that page? Finally, the idea of "is it better not to know" is not very clear. Can you add something to the last page to make it more evident?

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  JCBCJBNW says:
  nice imagination

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  mikefisher821 says:
  I enjoyed this story, very empathetic! -Mike Fisher

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  kaye says:
  Hmmmm - why is it better not to know, was he still hungry, but too guilty to eat the pigs?

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  rlobaugh says:
  I can see where the story is headed and I like it, but you need to bring it together for the outside reader who doesn't know what your task was. I DO like that I'm left wondering what the fox decided to do with the pig...did he cave in and set her free, or did hunger win out as he feasted on pork???

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  jmikulski says:
  I see you tried to add more to page 9 to address the question, "Is it better not to know," but it is so poorly done, I cannot give you more points. Fix the spelling/grammar errors, and then resubmit.

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  monk51295 says:
  I like your plot. The pig letting the fox see how much they were alike. I wish more people could realize what the fox did.
  Maybe we wouldn't try to devour each other so much.

  Posted 26 months ago (Permalink)
• 
  Aathena says:
  good story, but who cares about the grammar it's not a big deal for god sakes get off that poor persons back jmikulski

  Posted 2 months ago (Permalink)

Log in to post a comment

Select one of your stories as a response. What's a story response?

Quick Tip:

Story Responses

Story responses let you add one of your published stories as a comment on another story.

You can only use a story for one response, so choose carefully.

PS: Any response that is perceived as “spam” (ie. is unrelated to the Storybird above) will be removed.