Sparks and Stars
The Best Night
I love looking up at the stars. That was the first real thing you said to me. Not real, like for me to hear, but real like meaningful and important and a part of you. It was late at night, and it was dark, and cold. We were sitting near the bonfire, shivering and happy, not wanting the night to end. And you tilted your head back to look at the glimmering constellations above us. And I did too.
It had been a great night. Full of drama, as usual, but that is expected when you look at the world today. All that mattered was the hayride with people I hadn’t seen in a while, and had missed. And the bonfire, shoulder to shoulder with you.
You know what I was thinking, the whole time? This is how it should always be. And I still think that. Every day should be spent with friends, eating ice cream and caramel corn and s’mores and sitting by a bonfire and watching the sky. Getting over your fears and talking and being a real person. Interacting with all those people who you care about, who you trust.
At first, I was afraid I would be alone, without my friends by my side. I found them, though, and we picked out pumpkins and laughed and pushed each other around. One of my friends told me a secret, a secret I desperately want to tell you, even now. I think you’d want to know.
She said she loved you. And you’re not here, so it’s not like you’ll ever find out, and I don’t plan on naming her, or anyone, for that matter.
You said you’d carve a pumpkin, but I don’t know if you actually did. I bought it for you, I had some extra cash. I didn’t care about saving the money, and I still don’t regret it. What’s a dollar lost in my life? It was just another part of one of the best nights I’ll ever have. I don’t regret it at all.
I think maybe I love you, too.

Keep Reading

Chapter 2

What I Don’t Share

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