Diary of a Tissue
9th September 2009
Today was a very auspicious day. I was born! Squished into a tissue box, my new home...
Maybe it wasn’t that lucky since I was squashed in with other tissues of my type, the box wasn’t very spacious but luckily I was placed at the top, so the outside air could refresh me.
I could hear muffled sounds, I had to see what was going on. Suddenly a voice came from underneath me. The tissue underneath me was mumbling to itself. What an idiot! Well, as this tissue is the only tissue close enough for me to talk to (as I was at the top). I decided to start a conversation.
It started off as a normal conversation, you know, asking names and stuff like that. It told me it’s name was tissue two. I wonder what my name is? WAIT WHAT?
The worst, most possibly gross thing happened to me just now. I was used… AS A TISSUE!!!! WHO KNEW THIS DAY COULD EVER COME TO ME! Yes, I am a tissue, but being covered with this green, gooey, yucky thing was just not my type of thing. I thought I would be used to wipe up a mess of some sort! BUT NOT THIS TYPE OF MESS! And do you know what happened right after? I GOT CHUCKED INTO A SMELLY PAPER BAG!!! This is literally the definition of tissue abuse.
Sleeping in this paper bag with lots of other smelly, gross objects was not what I planned for. I was expecting to sleep in a king sized bed with four cotton pillows and a warm snuggly blanket! BUT NO! I WAS EXPOSED TO TISSUE ABUSE! WHAT SORT OF A WORLD IS THIS! I have standards, you know? I am not just used to cover myself with an ugly mess that I didn’t even make! UGHHH!!

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