somewhere i have never travelled...

Fiona was the most beautiful girl in my world. I loved her. I loved her more than someone could ever love another person. I loved the way her chestnut hair danced upon her freckled shoulders. I loved how she sang when she thought no one was around to hear her. I loved that she sucked at math and loved to paint. My heart skipped every time she said my name. She was my best friend and I’ve loved her since we were just kids.
It was early afternoon and a perfect day. We walked side by side down the dirt trail towards our spot by the river. The thick trees swallowed us up the further we went.
“Race ya,” she laughed pushing me back as she took off running.
“You never learn,” I grinned pulling ahead of her.
It was the perfect ending to summer. We spent the day laughing, skipping rocks, eating wild berries, talking about Mrs. Rosen’s wild new hair and scandalous affair with Mr. Maloy. Things were easy. Fiona smiled as I tucked a little flower in her hair. The warm glow of the approaching sunset made her beam.
“Peter,” she tossed a berry at my mouth. It missed. She popped a berry in her mouth and then aimed for me again. “What do you think it will be like?”
“What do you mean?” The berry bounced off my cheek.
“Like, after this. After today. You start working for you father tomorrow and I start my first semester at the community college in a few days. It will be the first time we are apart.” Fiona scooted next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her and she curled in close. I lived for these moments with her. If only this simple gesture meant more. If only it meant we were in love and things wouldn’t change just because we were going to be apart. If only she knew I would do anything for her. But, I couldn’t do this anymore. She needed to know. This was it. I had to tell her.
“Fiona. I-“
“What if I get a boyfriend?” She cut me off. My heart sank. I awkwardly raked my free hand through my hair. It took me a moment to notice she was waiting for a response but she continued anyway.
“What if you are too busy for me? What if you get a girlfriend or run away and become a professional guitar player? Peter, what if I fail or no one likes me? Everything is going to change” she sniffled.
I took a deep breath. “You are going to be fine Fiona. You are amazing and everything is going to be fine.” I hugged her harder. “And I promise I won’t play guitar professionally” I teased.
“You better promise me”
“I promise” I said wiping a tear from her eye. She stayed in my arms for a few minutes longer.
“Lets go home Peter.”
We walked home the same way we came except we were quiet. I was lost deep in thought. I didn’t even notice how we got back onto the main trail. My mind reeled. I still could tell her. Just do it. I kept repeating to myself over and over. I will tell her and kiss her all romantic and that will be that. Oh man, what if she freaks and stops talking to me? I was having a major panic attack on the inside. Fiona held my hand the whole way to her front porch.
“See you tomorrow when you finish work.”
I nodded.
“Whats wrong?”
“Nothing, see you tomorrow” I said as I turned to leave.
Fiona took my arm and kissed me on the cheek. “You are going to be fine too.” She smiled and walked inside.
I was going to tell her today. I was going to tell her I loved her but I didn’t because I am an idiot.
The walk home from Fiona’s was grueling. I wanted to run back and kiss her and tell her everything. I hated myself for being such a wuss.
“Don’t beat yourself up little fox” a snicker came from the dark tree line. I froze where I stood. Every hair on my body was standing up.
“Relax boy” it laughed.
The voice was a girl who suddenly appeared in front of me in a swirl of leaves. Her eyes dark and animal-like. A strange intoxicating smell filled my lungs. It was like burnt herbs or incense that began to suffocate me. My body was screaming at me to run but her otherworldly beauty made it hard to look away. I couldn’t move.
“I’ve been watching you little fox” she circled her slender finger on my chest. I couldn’t speak.
“Since she doesn’t want to play, how about you come play with me. I’m awfully fun.” she smirked.
“No Thanks” I choked.
“Come on. I can show you things she could never show you. I can give you all you ever dreamed and more” she whispered as her deadly lips grazed my ear.
“What the hell are you lady?”
She started laughing wildly.
“You are too funny Peter. I am interested in you. Come with me.”
Her voice was musical. I could feel my body aching, wanting to go with her. My hands trembled. Fight it! I kept telling myself. I thought of holding Fiona today and found my strength to move. Pulling from her hold was torture. Every muscle burned as I ran. She began laughing maniacally as I kept going. Her voice followed me. I ran as fast as I could all the way home still gaging on her. I locked the doors before I even had time to catch my breath. My mother was passed out on the couch. This was typical. At least she wasn’t throwing things at me tonight. I’d take that any day over the crazy psycho from outside trying to kidnap me. I took the throw off the side of the couch and covered her before going upstairs to bed. I felt so defeated.
What the heck happened tonight? I laid in bed for hours tossing and turning, praying for the night to be over. After hours of failed attempts to fall asleep my hand found my guitar leaning against my headboard. I held it across my lap letting my fingers quietly glide across the familiar strings. My fingers coasted with ease across the frets starting simple and adding small intricate fills where they needed to be. Everything I was feeling poured out of me. It was her song. I loved her. Fiona.

Keep Reading

Chapter 2

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

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