~Poetry by deepy~
Lessons Learned
Growing up, I had a sister with depression and anxiety
A brother who’s autistic and would always lie to me
My mother grew up in a broken envoirnment
with her mom in the psychiatric ward of the hospital
and my dad
my dad
When my parents divorced my seventh grade year,
he wasted no time finding another girl to claim for his own
and of course he’s happy with her and not my mother
Of course.
I’ve always been a firm believer that people change
That your past does not define you
but why would you do that,
how could you?
How can you just hurt people like that?
you can’t even look them in the eye
because their pain would be too much for you to bear,
knowing you were the one inflicting it.
Or maybe you simply don’t care.
My sister came home from college one summer
with an aura of arrogance and stubborness
she had her opinion which she stated bluntly
and any other viewpoint was harshly shot down
And I’ll never forget the day when she screamed
that she wished Chris wasn’t her brother and that she hated him
hated him
and she accused him of verbal abuse
when it was she that had said, most un-eloquently,
that he was a spoiled brat and a jerk and an ungrateful monster
and why does she chose not to see that that is what she’s becoming?
Everyone that you meet comes into your life for a reason
They are either a blessing or a lesson
and she, my dear sister of twenty,
she was a lesson to me.
When I watched her fight
eyes full of fury
fists clenched with rage
I knew that that was something that I never wanted to become
for I would be better
I would be braver
I would be kinder
I will not allow myself to become like she
hurting people willingly
and with apathy
I am so much more than what she says I am
and I cannot
I will not let her words define me
I create my own destiny
for our fates are undecided
and they lie in our hands
and we have the power to become everything we aspire to be
I am better
I see now what I could not see before
and I shan’t forget the lesson taught to me
and what my sister has taught me,
though quite unwillingly.
I will not be she;
I will be me,
and I will write my own destiny.
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