How long can you last lying to Those you say you love?
Swimming In Lies
Charlie’s POV
I’ll be honest with you.
I really have no reason to be the way I am to Adam.
It’s not like he’s dating Amelia or anything.
And it’s not like I would even care if he was.
It’s just...
I don’t know.
Whenever he’s around I just suddenly feel very tense. It’s like he filled my throat with cotton and replaced the heart in my chest with a brick.
I guess I just felt...
Feeling inferior was something I was seriously not okay with. I was supposed to be the superior at all times, regardless of who was there.
Before, it was easy to act that way. I was so much more intelligent than everyone else, so much more composed. That sense of superiority just came naturally.
But when Adam showed up, that usual feeling seemed to change.
Maybe it was the way he carried himself. Even with the trauma of all that just happened, he still presented himself with this strong and steady composure. When he wanted to, he could become stone cold, and other times, the most caring person in the world.
While he was curious, he was also reserved.
He was such a complex and contradicting person that it almost made him seem...
Unusually normal.
I mean that it the nicest way possible, of course.
Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m surrounded by so many one-layered people that meeting someone as incredibly human as Adam made me realize just how programmed I am.
I am programmed simply to be intelligent. That’s my only layer. I am Charlie, the intelligent one.
Tyler is a one-layered person too. Although he has multiple aspects to this layer, Tyler, overall, is an actor. That’s what Tyler does - that’s what Tyler is.
Ryan is one-layered. His only layer is that he’s insane. There’s nothing above or below that. No secret layer of compassion or kindness, nothing. He is just pure insanity.
Amelia has more than one layer, but only reveals one to us. The only layer we see is a liar. But there’s more there. I can see it in her eyes when she speaks to me that there’s more than the lies she’s telling me.
But if Adam and Amelia both are multi-layered people, why does Adam intimidate me and Amelia confuse me?
Perhaps it’s because I never understood Amelia to begin with.
She always held herself above others, yet somehow remained respectful and kind. She wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, even if it offended you. But regardless, she still managed to make you feel wanted and cared about.
I most likely just assumed that I would know Adam. Besides, he just seemed like a simple teenaged boy, like how all of us seemed. But I suppose that he is just like us on the opposite end of the spectrum.
He is so much more than he seems.
I was jealous.
I’ll admit, not only did I feel inferior, I was purely jealous.
I was jealous of how incredibly human he was.
I was jealous of how stable he was.
I was jealous of how so simple he was I found it complex.
I was jealous that he could provide something to Amelia that I would never be able to.
By now, that’s really all Amelia needed. She’s been through so much, she wouldn’t need to stay with me and go through even more of it.
After all this is over, she just needs to go back and live a normal life.
If that meant with Adam, so be it.
Why do you care about her happiness so much?
“I love her.”
I immediately covered my mouth, afraid that someone had heard me in the pitch black room.
I couldn’t believe I had let those words leave my mouth.
They couldn’t be true, they couldn’t be!
Could they?
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