A Poem
Undefined
Undefined
My life was dull before you
There was only black white and shades of grey
I had spent my whole life hiding in the shadows
Where there was no light at all
Bad things kept popping up everywhere I looked
Which just made the world darker
I didn’t know how the world could get any darker
But of course I didn’t know just how dark it could get
I just kept looking for those white moments
Those little moments of light and color
Color never came
But white did
White was when someone said hi to me
White was when someone smiled at me
White was when I won a game
White was when someone looked up to me
But those in between moments
Those shades of grey
Rarely came
They were about as frequent as atomic bombs being dropped
Those rare grey moments came
When someone took the time to talk to me
When I actually paid attention to the world
When something went my way
My life was dull before you
But the you added color
Red
Red as the rose that blossomed this morning
Red as the cardinal that sang to me
And then my life was dull again
I never thought I would see another red
But then came another color
Orange
Orange as the carrots I harvested
Orange as the sunset last night
Yet I knew that it was just another shade of grey
It would disappear just like the red
I didn’t know how I was wrong
How could another color come
Yellow
Yellow as the sun in the sky
Yellow as the daffodil that brightened my day
We all know that yellow is the most hurtful
It’s the worst for our eyes
The opposite of yellow and light
Is black and darkness
That’s where I was headed again for sure
But yet again I was surprised
Green
Green as the person’s shirt that waved to me
Green as the grass that swayed in the wind
And underneath grass is dirt
Which is what I am
Dirty
And filthy
But then I looked up
And was pleasantly surprised
Blue
Blue as the sky without a single white cloud
Blue as the house next door
But then the rain came
Covering the world in darkness
Why had I even had hope
When I knew it was going to be destroyed
Even the bruise on my heart wasn’t blue
It was just black
Until one day
When the third came in
Purple
Purple as my bruise that was being healed
Purple as the hope I wanted to have again
And yet I still knew that hope would never return
Why couldn’t I just decide
It was because I had seen so many colors
But I had seen way more black white and shades of grey
Bad things after bad things happened everyday
Continually for a long time I didn’t see any color
And I was positive I would never again
Those were just super rare moments
Even more rare than those shades of grey
Black covered my life from then on
And I truly knew what complete darkness looked like
It was so bad I even thought ending my life was good
I was about to go get a knife
When someone waved to me
It was the green
The tiniest glimpse of green
I remembered that person
But immediately said no
It was too late for me
As I was about to open the door
I heard singing
Beautiful singing
I froze
With my hand on the handle
Talons dug into my shoulder
I turned my gaze to where the cardinal was singing
It was singing on my shoulder
Somehow red had managed to get back to me
I didn’t want it to though
I shooed the bird from my shoulder
And continued into the store
I looked around and found what I was looking for
Right next to it was paint
The same color of the house next door
I smiled briefly and admired the beautiful blue
My hand reached towards the knife
And lightly grasped it
I checked out and headed back into the crisp air
The blade fell out of my hand as I fixed my eyes
On one of the most beautiful flowers ever
The daffodil
I cut off the pedals with the sharp blade
I didn’t want any more surprises
Especially not something yellow
But I started thinking
Was this some sort of test or sign or something
Four of six had shown up
When were the other two going to make their appearance
I started to have a little hope again
But that was only the faintest lavender
It couldn’t be considered purple
Could it
No
Lavender is not purple
Never has been
Never will
I went home that night
And sat on my porch step
Debating whether I live
Or die
As I was wondering
My eyes lifted to the sky
It was orange
Then and there
I knew
That I had seen purple
Six out of six
And that’s when I saw you
That’s when I met you
When I knew I had something to live for
I didn’t need a color every second of everyday
I just needed it sometimes
Just a little bit each day
I realized the more it’s spread out
The more precious it gets
But the thing was
I didn’t exactly know who you were
You were someone inside me
Coaching me
Teaching me to love you
And others
And in you I saw
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
And Purple
The most important of all
But I saw another color in you
A color that was as clear as your reflection in the mirror
Yet it was the figure in the shadows
At first
I didn’t know what to call it
But then
I knew exactly what it was
Undefined
It was not a shade of grey
Nor any color
It was just
Undefined
I spent a lifetime
Trying to figure out what it was
Eventually I came to the conclusion
That
Undefined
Was only a color that you could make
That you could bring
Your own unique color
That made you different
From everyone
And everything
So now that I have
All these colors in my life
I needed to figure out how to use them
Maybe I’ll be able to make
Find
Undefined
Or I could be a
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Or Purple
To somebody
And change their life
I could settle
For any color
But I would choose
Green
Above all
I want to be the person that waves to you
The one who makes you smile
Yes
My main color would be
Green
Then
Red
And
Purple
But most of all
I want to be
Undefined
Like you
Undefined
My life was dull before you
Undefined
Undefined
Undefined
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